If making friends was so easy when we were little, then it must be a simple process… but why did get so hard as we grew up?
If you’ve made efforts and reached out to people to get to know them and make friends, but it did NOT work -as if there was some kind of barrier stopping you- then you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Kick-starting a friendship is just ONE skill that you need to learn in order to have a healthy and awesome social life.
To learn all the skills that I share with you in my Get The Friends You Want eBook, click here…
Now, Why Does It Feel So Hard To Make Friends…
Is it lack of skill? Is it the culture of our society that’s sliding away from social bounds? Is it about our modern busy lifestyles? Is it a natural instinct that comes with adulthood? Why is it so hard to make friends as you grow up, if it was so easy, when you were little?
The answer is that there is no one answer. There is no single cause for this. There is a group of causes that make it hard for us to make friends.
In this newsletter, we’re going to tackle the main blocking reasons, and how to walk around them and get the happy social life you want…
You Think That Everyone Else Is Already In A Closed Group Of Friends
Did you know that the lonelier you are, the more you tend to only notice extroverted people who have a great time with friends. Somehow your mind gets blind to all the others who are maybe even more lonely. It’s just a mental illusion.
At the same time, most friendships are superficial. People can hang out with others, just to avoid being alone. Everyone is craving for more close and loyal friends. Don’t be fooled by appearances.
You Learned How Friends Can Be Disappointing
If you got hurt by friends in the past, you might think that friendship is risky. What you may have missed is that these scars are just lessons. They are new tricks under your belt. Bad friendship experiences are signals and new skills that allow you to filter people better.
You get to become more safe, as you gather social skills experience. You start seeing the warning signs before you get disappointed or hurt. It’s a wealth of knowledge that you shouldn’t throw away. Learn from it.
Great Results Don’t Seem To Appear At First Attempt
If it’s been a long time that you didn’t make a new friend, then it can be hard to start. A common mistake is for someone to psych themselves going out to socialize, then quickly get discouraged when they see that other people aren’t very responsive to them.
Your social skills may be dormant or you may never developed them as you could. If you want a great social life, you can’t count on one single action step. You need new habits that are easy to implement gradually, and a set of great social skills and techniques to use.
The “What If They Don’t Like Me” Factor
Fear of rejection is also a big block. If you try to make friends with someone and it doesn’t work out, you can rarely know why. It’s usually a lot of speculation. Whether you say “they think I’m not good enough” or “they think I’m too good for them”, it’s usually just guesswork. You can never know what’s going on with someone you don’t even know that well.
So why choose a thinking process that is discouraging? You don’t have to.
If someone isn’t ready to meet or hang out with you, let it go. It can be anything: “they must be busy”, “they’re not ready for new friends”, “they’re not open-minded enough”, “ they’ve been hurt lately”, etc. It can be anything, never take a guess that will discourage you.
You’re Afraid To Reveal Who You Are
Revealing who you are (and your secrets) is a key part of making friends. If you’re not ready to open-up, it can block you from making new connections. Please do know that you don’t need to open up completely at first.
People are used to having others talking about generalities at first. If you get good at that, you can wait and get to know people, before revealing yourself in a gradual way.
At the same time, never think that people are that well-adjusted and perfect. Everyone has their own quirks. Everyone has a side of themselves they’re not too proud of, or don’t have the courage to reveal. You’re not alone.
You Can’t Acknowledge That You Actually Need People
This is another common reason why people stay isolated. It’s okay to think of yourself as an independent person but, who said independent people have to be lonely? If you feel that power means that you don’t need other people, it’s maybe time to rethink that. The ability to bring other people in your life and have them on your side is more powerful.
If you learn how to make friends, then you’ll never be obligated to be with anybody that doesn’t deserve you. That’s a more evolved way to see power. Power means that you choose who you hang out with.
Your Loner Habits Are Too Strong To Break
Habits are like rivers you can’t turn them if you don’t have enough willpower. At the same time, you don’t need to be superman to get a social life. All you need is a set of strategic techniques that will allow you to new habits that automatically bring new people to your life.
The new social habits work best if you subscribe to a club, or commit to helping out an organization which holds regular social get together.
You can learn about techniques like these, that will help you shift your lifestyle into one that automatically brings you new friends, by reading my eBook, “Get The Friends You Want.”
In it, I’ll share with you the techniques I learned to go from living a lonely life to having all the amazing friends I can find time for. You can start reading and applying and GETTING RESULTS faster than you can conceive of.
Take action here:
– Paul Sanders
Author, Get The Friends You Want