If you’ve been in a place where you’re not satisfied with your social life, then you know that sometimes, contacting the people already in your circle isn’t enough. You realize that you need entirely new friends.
You can also realize that when you don’t have any friends or acquaintances who are THE type of awesome or international friends you wish you had.
In any case, you come to the realization: I need to meet *NEW* people.
So how do you do that? There are many ways you can do that. A most basic one is to go out to local, “semi-private” events and mingle.
When you consider that, you sometimes get lazy, skeptical, and doubtful about whether or not that would work.
You may feel that it takes just too much effort to socialize, with little results. You then start to wonder if it’s really worth it.
So what to do?
Think Two Steps Down The Road
If you have a social fear going out alone to meet “strangers,” you’re probably focusing on what happens when you actually go out, instead of what’s more important: what happens afterward.
It’s easy to obsess over what people will think of you, and how you’ll feel, etc. That’s understandable, completely!
You are maybe not thinking two steps ahead, and that’s where the magic happens.
Once you get in contact with one, two, three, or four people, after going out alone a couple of times, you get enough social activity on your plate, that you don’t really *have* to go out to meet new people.
If you get to know just a couple of new people, that can mean a social activity per week… these things quickly take up the time you have for socializing.
You’ll quickly be spending time with those people, and not really have to worry about going out alone.
That’s why I suggest you think two steps down the road so you can realize how going out alone is really, a very temporary thing.
There Is A Method To Meeting New Friends
You may also wonder too much about where and how to meet new people, how to talk, what to say, how to pique their interest, how to make the other person want to meet you again.
You may wonder how to even know if you’re talking to the right person – if they’re the kinds of friends you want in your life.
Equipped with the right tools, it doesn’t have to be an effort-intensive activity, you can actually have fun meeting new people, and manage to meet them again, afterward.
What About Socially Successful People?
Another misconception that you may have, or may not have, but just need to be careful not to fall for,… is the one that says that you only go out alone to meet new people, if you have no friends whatsoever.
As if, the people who already have solid circles of friends, never ever go out alone to socialize.
It ain’t true, it has never been true.
Who do you think goes to trade shows to meet likely partners, who go to random meetups just for the fun of it? They’re not all completely friendless.
Instead, socially successful people keep meeting new people; they keep expanding their horizons, meeting people who are slightly different, who can teach them something really interesting.
The misconception that only friendless people go out alone is baseless, and just not consistent with the reality when you actually go out and notice who’s there.
There is no reason that you can enjoy going somewhere where there is a chance you could meet people who could be your friends tomorrow!
I hope this helps clarify the subject going forward!
– Paul Sanders