When people misunderstand you, there are a lot of factors that can come into play here. This is a most unfortunate thing because it can lead people to see you very differently from who you really are. That’s okay, though. If people misunderstand you most of the time, there are things you can do moving forward to make sure this never happens again.
Having people misunderstand you can stem from miscommunication, false information, or simply with the way you carry yourself around a crowd. Whatever the case for you may be, the most important thing here is that you can remedy this issue right now.
That said, here’s why people misunderstand you, and the things you can do to make sure this never happens again.
Why People Misunderstand You
While the reason why people misunderstand you varies, there are a couple of reasons that are very common amongst those who are in the same boat as you are. Here are some possible reasons as to why people misunderstand you.
You don’t speak up enough
One of the reasons why people misunderstand you could be because you don’t speak up your mind enough. You don’t give others a chance to hear your thoughts and that’s why they end up settling for assumptions and rumors when it comes to having information on you.
You think too much about what others think of you
The more you think too much about what others think of you, the more awkward you’ll be around them. These thoughts can affect the way you act around other people. You become so concerned with acting properly so that you can form good impressions that you instead become aloof, anxious, and shifty. Other people will see right through this and see you as an awkward person instead, completely misunderstanding your intentions.
You can be tactless sometimes
You don’t mean to say some of the things you end up saying, but it is what it is. Your mouth and mind can be tactless at times and that hurts the people around you. It isn’t your intention to offend them, but the damage has been done.
You might just be an introvert. One of the most unfortunate things about introverts is that they are often misunderstood by others, especially by those who aren’t fully introverts. Some people will perceive your want for peace and isolation as being anti-social when that’s not the case at all.
You’re afraid of being yourself
You prefer to put a facade when faced with people you don’t know. You’re afraid of showing them your true personality because you think that might not be enough for them. More often than not, though, people will see through the falsehood. They’ll be untrusting and suspicious of you.
You’ve done unseemly things in the past
You might have done a couple of things in the past that are unkind, in one way or another. Whatever the case, your past, if it’s known to others, has caused those around you to distrust you. You’ve done your best to change into a better person, yet none of that seems to be enough and others still see you as that person you used to be, not the person you are now.
You find it challenging to read another person or read an entire room for that matter
Reading a person is not one of your strong suits, let alone reading an entire room. You’re unable to adjust according to another person’s emotions and needs. You act and say things that are opposite of how they need you to act and what they want to hear from you, which is why some people find it difficult to be in your company.
You don’t allow others into your life
One of the main reasons why you could be misunderstood by others is that you don’t allow others into your life. They don’t know who you really are and they can’t know who you really are because you don’t let them in. They only see you as a character and not as a real person. You are judged based on your outward appearance and from how they perceive your day-to-day actions, but they really don’t know you true personality, your wishes, the way you speak to someone you care about, whether you have a sense of humor or not, etc.
What To Do If People Misunderstand You
As awful as it is to be misunderstood by others, the good thing you need to focus on now is the fact that there are things you can do to fix this problem. The following are the things you should do so people will stop misunderstanding you.
Learn how to express your thoughts properly
Expressing your thoughts properly is one very good way of making people understand you better. If you’re someone who finds it difficult to speak your thoughts and talk about yourself, you’re going to want to practice being more open from here on out. Learn how not to be hindered by anxiety and fear to speak up so that people will get a clearer glimpse of who you truly are.
One way to do this is to stop overthinking your words and just say the things you want to say. Of course, you still have to be mindful of not offending others, but we’ll get to that later. For now, it’s important that you understand the importance of being able to speak up.
Be more empathetic
Empathy is a very powerful tool, but being empathetic is easier said than done. What I mean when I say “be more empathetic” is to be a better listener and be more perceptive of another person’s emotions. Try putting yourself in their position. Listen to their words and understand what it would be like to live their experiences. Feel their emotions as if they were yours. That’s how you can be empathetic.
The more empathetic you are towards another person, the better you’ll understand them. All the while, as you’re interacting and conversing with that person, they’ll begin to understand you better too. You’ll form connections with other people wherein you both will understand each other clearly, leaving no room for any misunderstanding whatsoever. You can do this by simply being empathetic.
Be mindful of your words
As I’ve mentioned earlier, you need to be able to speak up your mind if you want people to stop misunderstanding you. However, in the spirit of being considerate and kind, you should also be mindful of your words. Hold nothing back unless they’re unnecessarily hurtful. Be honest with your words, but never be rude directly attack someone needlessly.
A good exercise you can do to get used to this is to try to say the words you’re about to say in your head before saying them out loud. It may take you a while to get used to this, but it will eventually become as quick as a reflex to you the more you practice it.
Appreciate your personality
You should also begin to appreciate your own personality if you want to stop having people misunderstand you. Embrace your personality so that you won’t ever feel the need to put on a facade whenever you interact with another person. Love yourself for all of your curves and edges and your atmosphere will show that. Others will see it clearly too.
Of course, this doesn’t excuse any bad behaviors and habits. If you believe you have habits that are damaging to yourself and the people around you, do your best to let go of those habits. Learn to appreciate yourself, but also learn how to become a better person in the process. Don’t wear a facade, change for the better so you won’t have to pretend at all anymore.
Learn how to be more friendly
A friendly person is someone most people will trust more easily. The more they trust a person, the more willing they are to learn that person more. That said, be that friendly person. Trust me, it takes almost no effort to simply send someone a smile, a kind greeting, or a small favor. Be friendly and you will be perceived as a warm presence. Once the people around you feel this presence, they’ll be more inclined to understand you more and not simply revert to the rumors and misconceptions they have about you.
If you’re on this site seeking how to become more socially active, then being friendly is already something you’re willing to do. Simply keep this in mind right now. The next time you go out there, be friendly. Be kind to the people around you. Not only will this help you achieve your goal to not be misunderstood by people anymore, but you might just make someone’s day better in the process.
Do your best to clear up misconceptions about you
Don’t actively seek out misinformation about yourself. Simply clarify whenever it comes up in conversation. The more you interact with people, the more they’ll begin to see you for who you truly are. If some of those people have had misconceptions and misinformation about you, they’re very likely to bring it up. Make use of this opportunity to clear up any misconceptions. Not to be defensive, but to clarify for the sake of posterity.
Don’t let your past define you
If you’re misunderstood because of something from your past, actively change this by not allowing your past to define you. You might begin to revert to those personalities or habits because of how often you hear from others that you’re that person. If this is becoming the case for you, take a step back right now and reassess your situation.
Don’t prove others right by allowing your past to define you. In fact, you should move as far away from it as you can. Let your actions show that you’re not that person anymore. People will see that and eventually, most of them will stop believing in the misconception they once held of you.
Don’t be bothered if someone won’t change the way they see you
If you come across people who really won’t change the way they see you, then that’s not on you anymore. That’s completely on them. Don’t be bothered by individuals who won’t open up their minds to your true self because they prefer to hold on to the beliefs they already have. Being bothered by this is just a waste of your time. Instead, focus on those who become willing to open up their minds to understand you better.
As terrible as this seems, there are indeed going to be people out there who won’t or can’t change the way they see you. Move past this and keep on doing the things you need to do so that people will stop misunderstanding you. Focus on those who will stop, and don’t be bothered by those who won’t.
Focus on socializing
One of the best things you can do for yourself if people misunderstand you is to simply focus on socializing. Improve your social skills and make your social life healthier. Be better at interacting with others. Be so good at socializing that people will actually look forward to being around you.
By being socially adept, there will be no need for people to misunderstand you anymore because one of the things that come with being socially adept is being connected with people. If you’re connected to others in a way that really matters, they’ll be able to truly see you for who you are.
Having people misunderstand you is a terrible thing. It can ruin your social life, your mental health, and your overall drive to become better as an individual. Take note of everything you’ve just read here so that you’ll finally be able to stop having people misunderstand you. Let them finally see who you are. Be transparent, be friendly, and most importantly, be yourself.
If you need more information on other social skills, be sure to explore the other articles on this site. There are a handful of skills you’re going to want to learn, not only so that people will finally stop misunderstanding you, but also so that you’ll be better overall in a social setting. Good luck!